A dear friend of mine and his on and off again life partner are here a back home for a little vaca. Its good to see old friends again they make you laugh and depending how close you are you can degrade and scandalize each others significant others with stories of childhood foibles and back fired pranks. This time around though we parted ways as less than friends. No I got over not being told about their committment ceremony because I got all the wonderful details and pictures. And truly I am happy for him because I think he's turning a new leaf in his life ... blah blah blah - all that good stuff.
What caused our little tiff was the announcement that they were adopting a child. My somewhat homophobic sweetheart asked
"so are you going to hire a live in nanny?"
the life partner responded no as he plans to stop working for a while.
I saw my sweetheart give me that slight twitch in his left cheek which means "ARE YOU SERIOUS!"
Without bringing up the conversational details his arguement was simply considering these 2 characters, their lifestlye (and by lifestyle I mean not a homosexual one, but rather and on again off again romance lived out in an exclusively and flambouyantly gay social circles) and our black Caribbean/Afro-American culture they should have female in this child's life to present another side of life.
Now had this been a on again- off hetero couple trying to have a child the general public would raise eye brows and try to intervene with words of wisdom like "don't you 2 think you should wait till you all settle down". But my friend took offence because he assumed me and my sweetheart's basis was an anti-homosexual one. I was sorta hurt seeing that I know this guy for years and I thought he knew me better but the old "you a christian so you suppose to think a certain way" card was played.
All things aside this is my worry. That in general children are being brought up with out their villages and the clear gender roles. Now when I say village I mean in this case, this will be a child living exclusively in a gay, flambouyant and proud community with few female figures to emulate. I think children need examples of every sex and gender in their life that are healthy and balanced, not just gay and or straight. Single parents especially single mothers who insist on no provide their children with a consistant male role model (even if it an uncle or grandfather) depriving their children from having the experience of understanding how men and women relate to each in a familial setting are only perpetuating gender issues like domestic abuse and other unhealthy relational issues. Same sex parents should always ensure that children have role models of the other sex ...especially if that child is of the other sex. IT'S ABOUT BALANCE PEOPLE!!!
Additionally WHO THE HELL APODTS A CHILD 6 MONTHS AFTER THEY ARE MARRIED WHEN 6 MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING THEY WERE NOTSPEAKING TO EACH OTHER AND HAD SEPARATED?
and when questioned as to why now, there was clearly an advocate for 'the child now' and one who wasn't behind the scheme all the way.
I'm worried to say the least. If this does happen then that will be just another socio-sexually confused picney for the world to fix.
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