quick question
Match.com has a commercial were they say you can get advice from their most successful couples. Why are their 'successful couples' still on Match.com? Isn't the point of Match.com ... as matter of fact let me ask that painful question, what is the point of Match.com?
Okay ok. I'll stay clear of that cause that may offend people. Hell I wrote and I think it's a touch on the judgemental/belittling side.
Additionally what's a successful couple? How do you become successful as a couple? Is there a test you take or do you go to a counsellor or is it the lenght of time you are together.
And if you really want to get it it, the next question should be, have we started using words like successful to describe relationships?
If we start talking about successful, it sounds like 'effective' and 'progressive' going to be next.
Am just saying...
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
marriage.... please...
Why are people getting married?
Let me be more specific why are people getting married when there are so many more options for them?
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not against marriage, fundamentally.
Someday I probably will.
I think if two people want spent the rest of their lives together then I support them and hope them all the best. If they are willing to make that commitment and do the background work, and share the pain and the joy of living with another human being.
However I believe that marriage can cross boundaries of gender and can be as unconventional as an arranged marriage where they only see each other once a year for financial reasons.
But why are people getting married?
In the past 8 years I have attended about 15 weddings and one thing I can say categorically, only the couples who were completely honest about who they were and where they are in life are still together. One couple in particular when I think about how their relationship unfolded and their wedding happened it think to myself, “Who the hell were they kidding?”
It was a surprise to all they were even a couple. They hid their relationship; their privacy was respected but I saw this young woman actually stand in front of people who knew better and those who didn’t, that she and her fiancé of 3 months weren’t an ‘item’.
Call me old-fashioned, judgmental, call me crazy, but never call me impractical. If we are practical about our lives, and practical as to how we intend to make our lives better, then it would stand to reason marriage is impractical till such time that both parties are actually will to be practical about a marriage.
Herein a practical marriage is defined as a marriage where time and effort is not wasted on emotional, social, and psychological baggage.
Now I talk about marriage as being practical because if you know anything about marriage and its true genesis you will understand that it is a biologically practical, religiously-reified anthropological institutional form (go read a book and figure it out).
All that set aside, in an era where we do nothing unless it’s convenient for ‘us’ or instantly gratifying, why get married?
Why put yourself out there and end up screwing yourself, someone you ‘love’ and the children that could happen. Why not simply figure yourself, his that other person out and then make a decision.
Why get married if you don’t know who are marrying and who you are?
Let me be more specific why are people getting married when there are so many more options for them?
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not against marriage, fundamentally.
Someday I probably will.
I think if two people want spent the rest of their lives together then I support them and hope them all the best. If they are willing to make that commitment and do the background work, and share the pain and the joy of living with another human being.
However I believe that marriage can cross boundaries of gender and can be as unconventional as an arranged marriage where they only see each other once a year for financial reasons.
But why are people getting married?
In the past 8 years I have attended about 15 weddings and one thing I can say categorically, only the couples who were completely honest about who they were and where they are in life are still together. One couple in particular when I think about how their relationship unfolded and their wedding happened it think to myself, “Who the hell were they kidding?”
It was a surprise to all they were even a couple. They hid their relationship; their privacy was respected but I saw this young woman actually stand in front of people who knew better and those who didn’t, that she and her fiancé of 3 months weren’t an ‘item’.
Call me old-fashioned, judgmental, call me crazy, but never call me impractical. If we are practical about our lives, and practical as to how we intend to make our lives better, then it would stand to reason marriage is impractical till such time that both parties are actually will to be practical about a marriage.
Herein a practical marriage is defined as a marriage where time and effort is not wasted on emotional, social, and psychological baggage.
Now I talk about marriage as being practical because if you know anything about marriage and its true genesis you will understand that it is a biologically practical, religiously-reified anthropological institutional form (go read a book and figure it out).
All that set aside, in an era where we do nothing unless it’s convenient for ‘us’ or instantly gratifying, why get married?
Why put yourself out there and end up screwing yourself, someone you ‘love’ and the children that could happen. Why not simply figure yourself, his that other person out and then make a decision.
Why get married if you don’t know who are marrying and who you are?
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