Inappropriate Relationship

Over the past 10 years I have come to understand that the relationship I have with my mother would be termed by some people as inappropriate (or perhaps more accurately as dysfunctional). Now I am almost certain that this is just a case of most people being prudish but nevertheless I am acutely aware of it.

What exactly you do with your mother, Ms. Guavas? I can assure you there is nothing of an extremely nefarious nature going on. My mother is a school teacher and a Roman Catholic parish administrator so the conservative level is high(ish). No we don’t mud wrestle or bath together, but apparently what we do do is cause for me to see a therapist. Oddly enough when I brought it up with my therapist, she said I had bigger fish to fry.

My mother and I gape together. For those of you not familiar with the term it is trini parlance for looking at people of the sex to which you are attracted. This curious hobby of ours actually started when I was a teenager. After my mother noticed me, mouth out and lusting after a young man playing football, she explained to me that a lady most not be caught with her mouth out and there are more subtle and morally acceptable ways to appreciate men. In truth she’s the one who constantly reminds me that when looking at the opposite sex ensure that you in fact thank God (sincerely) for the creation of the person and the opportunity to be hold them. “It is not about lust! When you see a good looking man [in this country] Bless God!” was her response.

“Don’t objectify them. They are somebody’s brother, or husband or friend. It doesn’t matter that they may eventually do the same to you. Respect the fact that they are humans but appreciate the fact that they are attractive to you and you are capable of feeling a sense of attraction to another human. Remember too, every man should be appreciated just as every woman wants to be.”

I fondly remember one day in particular driving around the savannah and a bare back dark skinned man with a long ras was jogging against traffic. I heard my mother softly exclaim “Hallelujah!”. I hastily looked out of the window and caught a glimpse of my mother’s taste in men. I responded “Thank yuh Jesus!”

The apple never falls far from the tree.

Since then my mother and I have praised God many times for mankind’s beauty. Most recently we did so while watching the movie Just Wright, starring Common. :) – Thank you Jesus! Bless Common’s mother and father.

As inappropriate to some as this relationship may seem to be I am glad it is the way it is. My mother helped me to develop a sexuality that was more human than feminine and for that and many other things I am grateful.

To the woman who has made me half of who I am, I love you.
(Mummy if you ever read this I eh taking no buff for bad grammar.)